thoughts. curiosities. self-reflection. finding purpose. prose.

traveler or homebody?

When I came home to California after studying abroad in Paris in summer 2004, I slipped into a solid six months of depression.  Studying overseas had an effect on me (as it does everyone) and I had a hard time readjusting to "normal" life back at college in Irvine, with friends and family, with my boyfriend, with my job.  I still experience an "adjustment period" of reentry whenever I come home from any trip, especially one to another country.

But I do love to be at home.  There are creature comforts in the place where you dwell that cannot be compensated for when traveling.  There's nothing like sleeping in my own bed, wearing clothes out of a closet rather than a suitcase, or eating food from a refrigerator instead of a drive-thru fast-food restaurant (not to mention the proximity to loved ones, including my dog). 

Still, I have days (sometimes weeks) when I yearn for some adventure -- something new.  I always thought I wanted to live somewhere different, like Portland, Seattle, New York, or San Francisco.  I even considered Colorado a couple of years ago when I got a lead on a possible job opportunity (which, had I been offered the position, would've found me apartment-hunting in the greater Denver metro area).

"So, which is it?" I ask myself.  My significant other is firmly rooted in Los Angeles and I know he'd despise the cold weather we're sure to encounter anywhere else (I've already committed him to a trip to San Francisco for my birthday in February, and I'm sure he'll be freezing the entire time).  I know he won't move anywhere.  Thus, I don't plan to move any further than Pasadena (for those of you outside California, Pasadena is a suburb of Los Angeles, still very close to downtown, where we both work).  But sometimes I just wonder.  Am I missing out on some great job opportunity in London?  What about NYC?  A good friend of mine just moved there to pursue her master's degree at NYU and from her Facebook pictures, it looks like she's having a blast.  But she's also more outgoing than I am.  She makes friends easily.  Not to say that I don't, but I also have a little something called depression that tends to minimize my motivation for social functions and weekend activities.  I had an exacerbated bout of depression when I first moved to Los Angeles, which is a mere hour from Huntington Beach, where I lived before for about four years, and 45 minutes from the home where I lived between the ages of five and eighteen.  I imagine the blowback from relocation to anywhere else, much less somewhere out of the country, would warrant a big, fat adjustment period.

So I'll be staying put, and I know that, realistically, that's what will make me happiest in the long run, especially since I've met someone amazing to spend life with (which is at least half, if not all, the battle).  I don't want to risk the trade off of a home in Paris or London or New York or Montreal at the cost of my relationship with the love of my life.  Short-term travel will scratch that adventurous itch just fine.  I'm always happy to come home after a long trip anyway, so who am I kidding?  :)


  1. living out of a suitcase can be a bit much. my former supervisor and boss travelled quite a bit for work. as in traveling on a concert tour from city to city, hotel to hotel. it can be draining both physically and emotionally.

    i live in san francisco and i always thought seattle would be nice, it's like san francisco's cousin, except with more rain.

    i'm currently in a relationship with someone who really really dislikes this city i think mostly because of the traffic, but only comes to see me. as much as i love this city and being within a stones throw of lots of things, i could always move. then again, where he lives he likes a lot and i actually quite like.

    you never know what's gonna happen in life. sometimes you end up having to move, sometimes you don't :)

  2. So crazy! I rarely hear of people who dislike San Francisco. :) Thank you for the feedback, though. It makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one in a relationship with someone who has differing opinions of ideal place to live. And yes, I think Seattle would be lovely! I love the rain! But everyone says if I moved to Seattle, I'd get sick of it (though hard to imagine). Thanks for reading and for the support. :)

  3. I enjoy going on fun trips, but going back to school and being away from "home" has really taught me how much I love being rooted in sunny Southern California. There's something awesome about encountering and exploring a new place, but I think I will always enjoy returning to the comfort of home.

  4. You're never missing out when you have love to fill in the gaps.

    Thanks for always checking up on Zeke...we're coming for Christmas and I would love to see you! :)