thoughts. curiosities. self-reflection. finding purpose. prose.
I was looking through online archives of my old college newspaper articles from almost 10 years ago, and someone left an angry comment (quite recently!) about an opinion article I wrote about religion. Slightly traumatized!

"It’s unfortunate that you are so busy about your very short term temporal life that you have no time to listen to His people that care enough to tell you about Jesus and his precious gift of salvation and eternity in the kingdom of heaven and how you can be saved from a burning hell. I hope you will take heed before it’s too late for you."


Masters degree

Short rant: how is it that a position lists a Masters degree as a REQUIRED qualification but the maximum pay for said position is $41K?  I don't get it.


I read this article today.

I now have a little bit of contempt for Etsy, Pinterest, and my own someday wedding.  Just a little bit.  Z (who sent me the article) has convinced me that my photography does not necessarily fall into the same category that the author of this article details, though there are some striking parallels in advertising and marketing efforts.



... please tell me that it's normal for moving in with a significant other to feel like such an adjustment!  Today was tough.  :/

a little less...

...overwhelmed.  Thank goodness; I am starting to feel a little better, a little more normal.  Which I suppose probably has a LITTLE something to do with the fact that I have ALL NEXT WEEK off of work!  Z and I were originally going to go to SF for my b'day, but because of the move we decided to stay in LA and finish cleaning/unpacking/decorating/etc.  I am really looking forward to days full of take-out, naps, and sprucing up the place.  I also have appointments with my new doctors next week, which is a relief, plus it's my BIRTHDAY coming up!  Feeling better today.  :)

I have felt extremely overwhelmed this week (this month? This year?).  Lists seem to help me break down my anxieties, so here goes:

  1. I just moved into a new place and there is stuff EVERYWHERE.  Definitely a physical manifestation of feeling crazed and a little out of control.
  2. My doctor is not covered by my employer's new insurance plan.  This sucks because (a) I already went to see my doctor twice since the new insurance became effective, so now I have to pay for two appointments out of pocket, and (b) because I SPECIFICALLY TOLD the HR director at work that this doctor was important to me months ago when she ASKED for everyone's input; when I asked her about this recently (angry because I have to pay out of pocket for my last two visits AND find a new doctor now), she said "well, we don't have any business investigating your doctors." THEN WHY DID YOU ASK US?!  And if you weren't going to check on this specific doctor, e-mail me back and tell me so, since my first e-mail was pretty clear!!  (Obviously I'm still pretty pissed about this one.)
  3. RAW:Hollywood event is tomorrow.  I'm prepared and all, but I'm nervous and it's just something else I *have* to do.  I know it will be fun, but I'm also going to be glad when it's over.
  4. There are no post offices in my new neighborhood open past 5:00 p.m., which means I have to get creative in mailing my Etsy orders since I don't get off work until 6:00 p.m.  Or I can just change my Etsy policies so that I only ship on Saturdays, but that kinda sucks for customers; they'll have to wait longer for their goodies.
  5. I feel a little stagnant, albeit temporarily and in a minor way, with Anna Delores.  I feel like I need to be DOING something to advance Anna Delores right now -- SEO, branching out in some way, entering contests, etc. -- but everything else is too crazed for me to focus right now.
  6. I want to lose a little weight but my anxiety seeks comfort food (i.e. McDonald's!).
I guess that's it for now... more coming for sure!

whipping my ass into shape.

Literally.  My New Year's resolution is to lose some weight.  I started off pretty strong but the last couple of weeks have knocked me off course (hello, moving!).  Reasons to lose weight this year (and in general):
  1. My 10-year high school reunion is this year.
  2. Not one, but TWO bachelorette parties in Vegas: Memorial Day and Labor Day weekends.
  3. I'm a bridesmaid in July and have a KILLER black dress I'd love to fit into again (bridesmaid's attire for this particular wedding are just black cocktail dresses).
  4. FEEL better (i.e. not get out of breath climbing a single flight of stairs.  More energy.  Etc.).
  5. Fit into old clothes!

There are a ton more.  The first three are the big ones -- OCCASIONS to lose weight.  I've gained 20 lbs. since moving to Los Angeles and 40 since I was at my "happy weight," and if you want to get really crazy, 60 lbs since high school!  Eek!  So let's see if 2012 is my year... I plan to make it so.  Positive attitude, right?